November 2011
91 posts
I dedicate this entirely to you, no friends, no family, just you. The thing is this, I feel that I have zero right to actually tell this to your face, in person. I am confusing you with everything because I am confused with myself too. If I could put this into a letter and send it to your postbox, I would; its no longer the matter of want or desire, its more of the matter of need or sustenance.
...
“I wanted to…feel hatred and love, despair and tedium— all those simple, yet...”
– Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho
2 tags
I can’t tell you who I am or what I can be, the most that I can tell you is what I cannot and do not want to be. If anything, the most that I would like myself to be is to be at peace, every single second of every single day. Of course, that would be impossible but in all honest opinion, I don’t think that it is too much to ask for.
I tried to make a list of the things that I wanted...
“I don’t think I could love you so much if you had nothing to complain of and...”
– Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
What was I supposed to do or say? I didn’t put much thought into this until today, I know that I was the one in the wrong but I didn’t expect it to come back so soon. What is a real feeling anyway? How would you know that it’s not just self censorship and conditioning? When you start to like someone you will suddenly see everything as perfect for each other, but in reality its...
“I find them on subways reading books I have on my list of Books To Read. I find them at bars dancing more enthusiastically than anyone else; even if they can’t really dance. I find them in line at the grocery store on a Friday night buying cookie dough, milk and that’s it. I find them in the Canadian poetry section of bookstores. I find them at work, having great ideas and wearing seasonal...
“I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly, as the light lies on these...”
– Sylvia Plath
“I began to draw an invisible boundary between myself and other people. No matter...”
Yeah, that was about right. If you don’t like it, stay the fuck out of my life.
“I dont want to live in the kind of world where we dont look out for each other....”
