I’m a far more flawed human being than you realize. My sickness is a lot worse than you think: it has deeper roots. And that’s why I want you to go ahead of me if you can. Don’t wait for me. Sleep with other girls if you want to. Don’t let thoughts of me hold you back. Just do what you want to do. Otherwise, I might end up taking you with me, and that is the one thing I don’t want to do. I don’t want to interfere with your life. I don’t want to interfere with anybody’s life. Like I said before, I want you to come see me every once in a while, and always remember me. That’s all I want.
"Please know that there are much better things in life than being lonely or liked or bitter or mean or self-conscious. We are all full of shit. Go love someone just because, I know your heart may be badly bruised or even the victim of numerous knifings but it will always heal, even if you don’t want it to, it keeps going. There are the most fantastic beautiful things and people out there, I promise. It is up to you to find them."
And I thought about Edgar Allan Poe, and then about ‘The Raven’, and then about you. You are the raven. What does that even mean? You are everything that poem is, and you know it. It will never be the same.
“I know what you are learning to endure. There is nothing to be done. Just make sure nothing is wasted. Take notes. Remember it all every insult, every tear. Tattoo it inside of your mind. In life, knowledge of poisons is essential. I’ve told you, nobody becomes an artist unless they have to.”—White Oleander by Janet Fitch